Those stupid cars are loud!

Struggling with Silence

7.29.21 // On Vacation in TN Viewing the Smokey Mountains

We’ve been in TN 4 days now. I’ve stolen away from my sleeping family in the early hours of the morning, desperate for quiet time with Jesus. (5 people in a 2 bedroom condo leaves the soul a bit eager for solitude.) 

I have the large balcony that faces the Smokies all to myself. Such beauty to treasure; the majesty in the mountains, the smoke and mist that remind me of God’s glory, the trees and nature all displaying His wonders. Yet… I have struggled to find a place to enjoy it. 

There’s a metaphor here.

In front of our beautiful resort runs a large, noisy highway. As beautiful as the views are, I can’t find quiet with God. I’m alone with Him. I’m gazing at green mountains with blue shadows of countless more in the distance. Worship music is blaring on my phone. My bible is open…

But those stupid cars are loud!

I hadn’t noticed them in the clamor of our vacationing fun. Only when I sought to be quiet did I recognize their distraction.

I feel God nudge me to consider all who struggle to find safety in solitude with God. They may open their bibles or turn on worship music and try to pray. Yet intrusive thoughts and feelings seize the opportunity silence presents.

We all need the refreshing that comes in quiet communion with God. It is only in these moments we learn to internalize His steadfast love for us. He makes Himself known to us uniquely in the secret place of solitude with Him. We must have these encounters with Him to grow in faith and maturity. But first, a battle with deafening voices must be won.

Shame, trauma, pain, fear, worry, pride, anger, lust, sorrow, confusion, depression, anxiety… All rear their heads in silence. We keep ourselves busy-to-the-max to drown them out. We fill our schedules, binge the series, and throw the parties, all to crowd out the opportunity for stillness. We know what awaits if we stop. 

For many, suicidal thoughts are ready to shout when we try to “be still and know He is God.”

How do we find safety in silence with God?

Sitting here, frustrated by the noisy intrusion, I could find a quieter place. In fact, I did a couple of days ago. Again, I stole away at sunrise and sought a spot of inspiration. But this area is so crammed with vacationers, I decided to drive to the country. To find my place of quiet, I had to navigate foreign, mountainous roads…alone. The further I drove, the more uneasy and unsafe I felt. I was far from home and I ventured the unknown in desperation. I fought a horrifying feeling of isolation as I drove further from places I felt safe. Yet I longed to be alone with Jesus and hear from Him.

Fighting depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts can feel like an unsafe expedition into the unknown. We need to escape the clamor of intrusive thoughts and feelings. We long for connection with Jesus so we can comprehend that He loves us just as we are. 

It is a treacherous voyage. But it is not impossible. 

If you struggle to find safety in solitude with Jesus, please let go of shame. A counselor, a pastor, or a trusted loved one can help you grow comfortable with silence. You will battle through fear and uncertainty. And you will overcome. Call on the name of Jesus to help you. He loves you. He is for you. And He is waiting to show you His mercy in the secret place with Him.

“This is what the Sovereign Lord,
    the Holy One of Israel, says:
“Only in returning to me
    and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and confidence is your strength…”
    Isaiah 30:15 (NLT)